Why do people feel the need to apologize for saying what they think?
For a country that prides itself on having the freedom to speak our minds, we sure do mind when people speak it. Every time someone opens their mouth and says something that others don’t like, they have to apologize. Why? It’s not like their is any shred of truth or an attempt to repent behind their apology. They are only doing it because they are being forced to, self perseverance, or they are being pressured by the media. An apology without any remorse is just an empty statement. So why do it? It makes no sense.
There are a whole host of media personalities with a million different points of view that fill the airwaves every day. People with names like Kobe Bryant, Glen Beck, Charlie Sheen, Sarah Palin, John Stewart, George W. Bush, Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, Bill Maher, John Galliano, Howard Stern, David Stern, Paula Deen, or Barack Obama have all been accused of offending someone, somewhere, at sometime. Anyone who has a microphone shoved in front of their face for a living shouldn’t be blamed for having an opinion that may or may not offend you. If you don’t like it, don’t listen. If it offends you, toughen up.
Seriously, people, when did Americans become such pussies? Guess what? Ism’s in this world exist. This country runs rampant with racism, sexism, ageism, misogyny, bigotry, and people that are just assholes. And the truth is that they will speak their minds because they want their message to spread. And furthermore, there is an audience out there for each of them consisting of people that want to hear what they have to say.
Do I think that what they have to say is right? Hell no! Most of the time the random ranting of celebrities, pseudo celebrities, TV and radio personalities, leaders, news correspondents, political pundits, and talk show hosts are barely intelligible as it is. But they have a forum in which to speak, and they use it. I would rather know that there are people like that out there, than to hide under the comfort of ignorance and pretend that they don’t exist and their hate filled rhetoric doesn’t exist. But that shit ain’t the truth.
Think about all the things you have done in life. Think about the people you have met and the incidents you have been privy to witness. Think about all of the things you wish you would have said, but didn’t. Why didn’t you? The reason is easy. You have been held hostage by what society has deemed acceptable for what you can and cannot say. You didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, you didn’t want to have to apologize for your opinion later, be labeled one thing or another, or worst yet face public scrutiny because decorum prevents you from doing so without being vilified.
Fuck it! Say what you want. Do what you want. Realize there will indeed be consequences. But at least you are being real. Our society is too ready to accept apologies from people that aren’t sorry for what they have done. People from jay walkers, to comics, to KKK members, murders on death row, gang members, thieves, foreign dignitaries all speak their mind until they say something that is totally off the reservation. Then once they are called on the carpet for their statements and after speaking to their lawyers, publicists, or anyone with any good sense, they have that “moment of clarity” when they realize that what they have said is “wrong” and would like to “make amends” by apologizing for their transgression.
So, I guess that means that I am making excuses for these people and justifying what they are doing. Umm, how about no?! No, you do not get a free pass to act like that and then think that Joe Public is going to forgive you because you are sorry. The only thing you are sorry about is that you were caught. Or that your ignorant view point is now out in the open for all to admire.
I am sick of the obligatory apology. I for one am not sorry for the things I do or say. If I inadvertently hurt your feelings, that’s too bad. I don’t care. If you don’t like it, say something about it, stand up for yourself. But what good does an apology do if you know I don’t really mean it? If I tell a girl she is fat, it’s not to be mean, it’s because she is fat and needs to do something about it. And I am not just running around saying things like this willy nilly. There had to be some impetus behind me making this proclamation. I am looking out for her health. If she didn’t want people to say something, then she shouldn’t have tried to squeeze her size 14 ass into a size 6 pair of jeans and then cover it up with a baby tee. That shit is offensive to my eyes. If anyone is being rude, it is her.
If I tell someone they are an ass and can’t drive, it’s because, they are a rude asshole whose shit driving is endangering my life, as well as the countless others around them. Yeah, I could probably do it in a nicer manner, but when 2 tons of steel moving 65 mph almost causes your life to terminate you aren’t in your most polite state of mind.
I don’t think we should celebrate 6th place in a race. It’s like we are apologizing to the kids for not winning. That is ridiculous. If it doesn’t matter who wins, why do we keep score? Don’t give a kid a trophy just because we don’t hurt his feelings. Hurt his damn feelings. It is that pain that drives winners to be number one. If you get a trophy for first and for 8th place, what the hell is your incentive to try to win? I live in the real world. No one cares about 2nd place. We care about number one, the winner. We need to celebrate winning, and stop apologizing to the losers.
I am of course not advocating for everyone to speak their minds at all times. One must use their best judgment to determine the situation they are in and then act accordingly. French designer John Galliano probably should have kept his mouth shut about liking Hitler. But who cares if he does? At least he is honest about his feelings. If that is how he wants to roll, then let him. The Catholic Church committed more genocide than Hitler was able to, and no one gets mad at people for wearing crucifixes. I just wish he wouldn’t have apologized, because I know that he isn’t really sorry.
People need to stop with their insincere apologies for shit they aren’t sorry about, which are pretty much all apologies. No one is sorry for what they have done. They are sorry they got caught or that pissing someone off might have cost them their job. And furthermore America, stop being so gullible and willing to accept someone’s apology when you know it’s not sincere. They don’t mean it. This whole pseudo-Christ like Christian belief in forgiveness is asinine and archaic.
Most people can’t really fathom that they have done something wrong, and more importantly aren’t going to “change” all of a sudden because they had an epiphany of wrong doing. Maybe one out of every million people will experience this form of repentance, but they are what we in the business call “statistical outliers” or “exceptions to the rule.” But the majority of people out there just simply don’t change.
The apologies that are offered by people that are caught up in some wrong doing or making some insensitive comment are no more valuable than the paper I use to wipe my ass. The next time someone says something to you that you don’t like or does something that is offensive, say something or move on. But becoming enraged or offended and demanding an apology is a waste of time. We all know that their apology is not going to change anything. They are not really sorry, and your being upset isn’t going to change their minds, nor their beliefs. They are just sorry that they have to apologize.