Since when did it become the American way to only cheer for the underdog? Why can’t we cheer for the guy who is dominant at what he does? Is he not worthy of our adoration? Why is it that the ones with the most talent are always vilified? The guys with the nicest cars, that live in the biggest houses, that date the prettiest women, or the women with the best bodies, the prettiest voices, with brains and looks who are treated with envious disdain while we publicly cheer for them to fail. And when they finally do fall from grace, then and only then can we cheer for them or have any kind of positive emotional response once they have become society’s pariahs.
But that is not what troubles me the most. What bothers me most is this: How can anyone who claims to like basketball not like Lebron James!?
Do you remember those videos of the African Savannah that they used to air on PBS or the ones your high school biology teacher would show you of the pride of lionesses chasing down the gazelles? They would run into a herd of gazelles in a triangle formation trying to startle and separate the weakest from the rest of the herd. From there it was a game of high-speed agile acrobatics while the gazelles bobbed and weaved until the chase ended with either a dead gazelle or a pride of hungry lions. And there were always some excellent shots of the chase being recapped in slow motion. The gazelle narrowly escaped a swat from one of the lioness’s paws as a spray of dirt was kicked up into the air as they both deftly changed direction, seemingly in one move, as you exhaled a sigh of relief and held onto your hopeful notion that the gazelle might actually get away.
Nope, not me. I seemed to be the only one cheering for the lions. These are some of the most beautiful, graceful creatures on the planet. Of course they are also deadly killing machines that have evolved and honed their skills over hundreds of thousands of years; and now their sleek, agile forms must hunt for survival. They deserve our praise and admiration because of all the animals in the jungle, they made it to the top of the food chain. It is not like the NBA or NFL where after the big game the losers go home and have another shot the following year. Nope. The winners survive and thrive, and the losers become the winners next meal.
Do you think you have what it takes to be a lion?
Of course you don’t. Think of that gazelle as a quarter-pounder with cheese. A quarter-pounder that can outrun your fat ass any day of the week. And then where would you be? Hungry, eating whatever was just lying around or any other thing you could pick up and “gather,” because in this society the majority of us are not hunters, but gatherers.
McDonald’s should probably implement a program where you have to chase down your food before you can eat it. That way you will have to actually work off the 800-calorie burger you are about to shove into your fat, gluttonous face, before washing it down with a 1200-calorie shake and 900-calorie fries. And then you won’t end up on the Biggest Loser blaming society, genetics, and your busy schedule for your high blood pressure, your saggy man tits, and your size equator jeans.
The truth of the matter is that the meek shall not inherit the Earth. The strong take what they want because there is no one to stop them. However they should do so only enough to quench their appetites. They shouldn’t thin the herd too much, gatherers are an important part of our society as well. Perhaps there is much we can learn from lions. I believe it was a lion that explained to a young Simba that there is a delicate balance in nature known as the “Circle of Life,” where everything in nature has its place. But at the top of that, is still the all mighty king. And as we can see from Lebron James, “It’s good to be the King.”
Congratulations to the entire Miami Heat 2012-2013 team. They played this year like true champions, tearing up the regular season, making an impressive playoff run, and finally beating a San Antonio team consisting of several first ballot Hall of Famers to take the title. As well as both teams played, one man played that much better, separating himself from the herd, and lifting his team to their second title in as many years, Lebron James, Finals MVP. King of kings, hear him roar.