I think it goes without saying that no one likes being bullied. I am sure at one time or another everyone in his or her life has been bullied. No one likes to admit it, but being picked on sucks. Being called names, pushed down, made fun of, talked about, having your feelings hurt, or your body hurt, give it any name you want, it’s all bullying. Even the bullies themselves at one point in time were victims of bullying, which is probably what turned them into bullies in the first place. Some bullies are just assholes and well, couple that with being victimized in their developmental years, they really never had a chance. All bullies might be assholes, but not all assholes are bullies, I think I am living proof of that, “Now give me your lunch money!” Nah, I’m just playing, unless you get a lot for lunch money.
Let me get to the point of this blog. I recently watched a marathon of a series on MTV, and with the exception of Iron Chef America, Bully Beatdown is the best show on TV. Who wouldn’t love a show that pits bullies, and I mean real narcissistic douche bags who have been preying on smaller individuals, against a professional MMA fighter. Why would said douche bags get in the ring you ask. Besides the temptation of being on TV, which is a draw for most of these young bucks trying to be the next Spencer Pratt, they also dangle in front of them the chance to receive 10 thousand dollars for doing it. The bad news for the bully however, but the good news for us and their victims is that they have to survive the fight in order to get the money. And with the exception of one crazy Russian guy that was too stupid to tap out, all of the bullies have lost, bad.
The best part of the show, or so I thought, was how these moronic bullies would run their mouths before the fight. Incessantly talking about how they were not only going to survive, but they were going to prevail. These guys just wouldn’t shut up about how much ass they were going to kick. They figured, incorrectly of course that since they had been acting like enforcers around their neighborhood and that they had successfully bullied weaker people than themselves that they would do the same to these fighters. They strut around like peacocks sticking out their over-inflated chests and egos hoping their bravado is going to save them in the ring. When asked what their fighting style is like, they all say the same thing. “Yeah, ya know, when I get in the ring and I see him, I’m gonna surprise him with my natural ability.” Yep, your natural ability to get knocked the f#@k out.
I think they truly believe in their delusional, Neanderthal minds that they could actually beat these MMA guys up. Apparently none of these guys understand what it means to be a MMA fighter, a professional, and have never been taught not to taunt a caged animal. MMA fighters get paid a lot of money to beat the crap out of each other. And normally these fight don’t end until someone gets KO’d or they have to stop the fight because someone is about to lose a limb. Being a professional MMA fighter means that they successfully beat the crap out of other guys enough times to make a decent living doing it. That means that they are good at what they do. None of these guys stands a chance. And once they step into the ring and the bell is rung, their bell gets rung.
But the best part of the show comes at the end. After these guys get there ass handed to them. And there have been some brutal knockouts, tap outs, arm bars, standing guillotines, and my favorite when the guys get punched and hit so hard that they puke after the fights. But even that couldn’t prepare me, and I would wager the creators of the show a by-product and probably the most meaningful part of the show. At the end of the show the bully needs to hand the money that could have been theirs to the victim, and along with it comes a usually heart felt apology. These guys just got owned on cable television, embarrassed for the whole world to see, and somehow all those blows to the head and kicks to the body loosened some of the asshole from them and made them remember they are human. They deliver heart-felt apologies that seem very genuine and most of them parrot the same utterance at the end, “I had no idea it felt like this to be bullied. I’m sorry.” Most of them hug it out, the ones that don’t there is no chance they will ever evolve. But for the one that do, this show successfully beat the bully out of them.