The more I interact with people in the service industry the more I believe I am in purgatory. I am forced to wander this world amongst a bevy of buffoons and blunderers. Am I the only one on this planet who possesses any kind of sense, common or otherwise, who can use it? The people I have to deal with on a day-to-day basis are either part of some elaborate ruse to prank me, or are truly the dumbest, dimwitted, dolts I have ever had the misfortune of dealing with.
I mean we are not talking about jobs that require you to have the knowledge and know how of a rocket scientist or nuclear physicist here. I am talking about people who work as tellers at a bank, who operate your dry cleaners, the grocery store checkout person, your food server, well be careful how you act to these people, the secretaries anywhere, or any other host of menial task providers. It seems as if my teachers in school were right when they warned/threatened us that if we didn’t pay attention and slacked off in school we would be forced to flip burgers at McDonald’s, or be the speaker of the House of Representatives. Either one really, because both are bonafide, bumbling, bozos with no clue about how to do their jobs.
Earlier today I attempted to renew a library book that I had borrowed last week, but hadn’t had a chance to finish reading. So I went to the library’s website to renew the book, but the site required a login name and a password that I had never set up, and there was no way to set it up on the website. In lieu of using the website to renew the library book which I figured is one of the major reasons they had the website in the first place, I called in so that I wouldn’t be charged a late fee. When I spoke with the first woman she was moderately helpful and tried to setup my username and password over the phone for my account.
With my laptop in my lap of all places, I began to type in the log in name and password she gave me, it didn’t work. She continued to give me a series of numbers and letters, which I diligently typed in, and continued to tell her that they did not work. This little back and forth went on for about 10 minutes until she told me she was going to transfer me to library information and that they would fix the login name and password snafu. But before she could waste any more of my time I asked her if she could just renew the book over the phone and leave the password stuff for another time. I could here her type 3 clicks on her keyboard and then she said, “Ohhhhhh, someone requested this book, so you can’t renew it.”
What?! I told her that I am still reading the book, so who cares who requested it. I’m going to finish the book, so just let me renew it or I’m just going to bring it back late.
This of course confused her. She explained to me how it wouldn’t be fair if I were allowed to keep the book after this person had made a request for it. I told her that I didn’t care if the prophet Mohammad himself requested the book, I’m not returning it until I have finished reading it. So she could either renew it or I will pay the late fees, but this person’s request for the book would have no bearing on my decision to return it.
She then explained that it was the system and that she would love to renew it for me, but she doesn’t have the clearance. But maybe the people at information would have the secret password to do it. These were her words, not mine. To which I replied, “Clearance?? Secret passwords?!?! You work in a public library, not for the state department! Okay, who can help me with this renewal who is not you?” She of course said that the information desk would be able to help me. “Cool, transfer me over please, and thank you for your help Louise.”
The woman at the information desk was even less helpful than Louise, and barely spoke enough English to be intelligible. Why do they always do this? The person who is the supervisor, or the public liaison, or the holder of the pertinent information always has a limited ability to communicate. I’m telling you its part of some crazy ongoing conspiracy, but back to the action. She pretty much parroted everything that Louise had said. So I explained to her that I would not be bringing the book back until I was finished with it, and I just wanted to know if there was another option besides having to pay the late fees. She of course said that it wouldn’t be fair to the person who requested it and that she would have to contact them to let them know the book would not be back on the scheduled date of return.
SMH, of course you are not going to call the person, this is part of the hazard of borrowing books from a library. The book comes back when the book comes back. A hold is to hold the book so that when it comes back it doesn’t go out again. To which she responded that this man had paid a dollar to hold the book. Wow, a fucking dollar!
So I said, “What if I had not called and had brought the book back a month later and just paid the late fees, would you give the guy his dollar back? She of course said no.
Then I said, “Then I guess he and I are both fucked, because the book isn’t coming back until I am done, an he isn’t getting the book or his dollar back for it not being there on time. So, you can either work with me or against me, but either way, I’m finishing that book.” To which she replied, “Okay, well this one time I will renew the book for you. But just this one time.” FUCK! “Why didn’t you just do that in the first place?!?!” Jesus fucking Christ, why, and more importantly how do these people exist?
Unfortunately, these weren’t the only imbeciles I dealt with in a 24-hour period. Last night a friend and I attempted to rent a movie from BlockBuster. If anyone doesn’t understand why Blockbuster went out of business, I can tell them why. It’s because no one there has any clue on how to do their job. More importantly the people there don’t want to do their jobs. They are sad, simple, simians that can care less about doing a good job and more about collecting a paycheck (reason number 1). I used to work at BB when I was 16, and I was awesome.
I love movies, and have a thorough understanding of why others enjoy movies too. I also posses a pantheon of knowledge about movies from every genre and am able to recommend movies that the customers would enjoy viewing. And I got people in and out of the store in a quick yet tactful manner so that they could go about their evening and enjoy the movies they rented. But the service these people provided was light-years from the kind of service I provided.
We left my friends house at 7:30 in the PM. The trip that should have taken all of about 15 minutes, instead turned into a 55-minute mish. We walked in, grabbed the movie we wanted, btw the movies were not in alphabetical order (reason number 2), and stood in a 3-person line waiting to rent our movie. This is where we lost 30 minutes of our lives that we will never get back waiting for the CSR’s (customer service representative, it should stand for cock-sucking retard) to rent us the movie.
The line wasn’t moving.
We had this one jack ass doing the worst Arnold Schwarzenberger impression “Come get me, I’m right here” and the other one chatting up some old bird who obviously had made this Thursday night trip to BB her night out. All the while an entire line of paying customers with things to do were waiting, impatiently I might add, as this veritable vaudevillian of verbose venting vermin performed their dance before us.
I don’t know what it is, but I am big into the alliterations today.
Needless to say we were finally able to rent the movie, after this unnecessary intermission in our evening. It took us all of about 30 seconds from counter to payment to door, to complete our transaction. We left laughing at how idiotic the two employees were and how blatantly bad Blockbusters business was doing.
Calgon, take me away!